Do you have negative feelings?
There is a risk that you magnify your negative feelings so that they are insurmountable. This is because there is a direct link between thoughts and feelings as illustrated in the following box:
Do you use negative words?
People who are depressed often think negatively about themselves. The following is a list of negative words typically used in this context - they not only make you unhappy but also make things even worse. Such words include:
- Empty
- Impossible
- Ugly
- Weak
- Hopeless
- Loser
- Failure
- Bad person
How unhappy are you on a scale of 0-10 when you use these negative words about yourself?
Do you trigger negative feelings?
Holding on to negative descriptions of yourself will, of course, make you more unhappy. Remember that feelings seldom come alone. When you are unhappy, it is easy to trigger negative feelings such as:
- Anxiety
- Anger
- Frustration
- Disappointment
- Shame
- Guilt
Do you challenge your negative thoughts?
Our advice is to challenge any negative thoughts that pop into your head and replace them with realistic thoughts. This approach will help make things better. The following is a list of ways you can challenge these thoughts:
- OK, so I easily feel inadequate and not good enough when I'm depressed. But this doesn't mean that I'm impossible or a bad person. Although I may feel that way, it isn't how things actually are. These feelings may be part of my illness.
- I'm a human being and that's why I'm so complex. I am the result of millions of years of development. I have a complicated genetic code and billions of brain cells. I have all kinds of feelings that make me a human being. I also have a personal history and many years of personal development behind me. I can do all kinds of things and have many different states of mind, which come into play in specific situations. Given that I'm so complex, it is unreasonable to define myself with just one negative description. It is also unreasonable to focus on this alone.
- I know very well that I tend to see the negative side of things because I'm depressed. Nevertheless, I can choose to see the positive side. For example, I am honest and hard-working. I can also empathise with others.
What do you feel on a scale of 0-10 when you adopt this approach?
Can you see the difference?
Get rid of the pain
We've now demonstrated how you can change your feelings. Find comforting things that you can say to yourself and that you believe. It's extremely damaging for you to hang on to negative thoughts that are unreal - they fuel your pain.