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Do you ever notice that when you really sit and think about your feeling and your thought the bad ones mostly I find that it comes from this place in my head. This place that at some points feels as though its ruling my life so now I kind of feel like I fight a battle new me vs old happy me vs miserable . I find sometimes its hard at work or with certain groups of friends to keep conversations away from bashing other people I feel horrible about it . Its not like I sit their and make fun of anyone but sometimes I agree with their frustrations of a co worker and find as talking to much about it when we should be talking to that person. I am trying to make it a habit of really noticing these actions and changing them sometimes this proves hard then other especially because I been so unhealthy for so long . However I will continue to say how thankful I am to be where am at today how wonderful it feels to be at this place and although I'll never be what may be considered perfection I am perfectly fine with being me . I am finding the more self love I have for myself the more I love other people. I find myself starting forgive more and let go of those many things that I have been holding on to for so long. However its a process and each day seems different but I am finding I am having more happy moments then sad ones. I finding that within me that light is getting brighter day by day but it is work to keep my head straight . Thank you life