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33 Days after

A page in the diary "33 days after"
Written by SadinCanada January 18, 2010 20:33

I am female, recently celebrated my 38 birthday. I have a wonderful husband and currently in the final year of my undergraduate studies. Hard to believe, despite all the facade that I am living a healthy normal life, I am depressed. The very word that I denied since last year, only to take an action with seeing my doctor whom prescribed me with Cipralex. Starting with the low dosage, I must say...after 33days...I am feeling a little low this couple of days. After taking Cipralex, I am feeling better, not sad unnecessarily. Just last term, I failed 3 subject and my husband still doesn't know about it. I feel like I have failed him when everything in life is alreaedy in place and him just waiting for me to begin our life (buy a house, kids, etc etc...) but I can't seem to muster the courage to see the end of the tunnel for me. I have been in school, 4 years part time and last 2 years full time. So imagine that long 6 coming to 3 this year is just killing me. I lied to my husband as well. I usually go home after dropping him off at the GO station and went home straight away to sleep instead of going to school. I am older than the rest of my classmate therefore I always feel a little isolated. I am so sad, I was supposed to graduate this May but because I failed, my husband is going to kill me. I am tired all the time and all I want to do is sleep. Especially this time of the year, I will sleep 14-16 hours a day. I used to be such an active person but I don't know what happened to me. I hate Winter and sometimes I felt I shouldn't have left my home country at all. I just wish I can pause everything while I go to sleep or not wake up at all.

I live my life on a day to day basis and hopefully this meds will help me get through. I just need to paddle along.

Comments from the community

You require doctors attention and a refer to a councelor
for a weekly visit. This is very important for you to do. Either you do it, or make sure afriend dows it for you. Please book the doctors appointment today!!

Written by Cipralex, February 4, 2010 20:35