Read diary

Well hello hello, i had a great entry written and hoped to submit it and well lets say i delayed too long and had to relog in which meant of course i lost it all! and it was good and i was soo disappointed.... bah! but i at least felt a bit better from having had wrote it out and got it off my mind a bit so in a way it helped just wish it coulda been posted.

So i'm at my office job today and am going to write a proposal or talk to RS to see if it'd be possible to come back in the new year but maybe at 3 days a week. or maybe 4 days at a lower wage see what they think and what would work. The reason for this is because i'm finding it very stressful and hard to work at the groomers when my boss boss is there, she's the one who owns the shop, i had a bit of a chat with her over the phone yesterday and tried to clear a couple of things up but she just doesn't get it and i found myself talking over her the whole time because she kept trying to reflect and bounce the ideas or conflicts back to me saying i'm doing the same she is and maybe i am, maybe subconsciously i am trying to show her what it is like working with her, i don't know. She's a bitch and everyone agrees and we just all want her to shove off if you know what i mean!

She just doesn't get it and doesn't listen and the moment i hear she's coming to the shop it just furiates me and i completely change moods and get all grouchy and grumpy and just stressed and wish i could bite her head off, so its really making it difficult for me to work and get my work done properly, I mean she thought sat was a good day but i don't see it as that, because she demands things, doesn't ask demands. And theres other thigns too but i just bah there's soo much i'd like to ream out at her but my councilor says i shouldn't because it would leave her no place other than to fire me and with the holiday season coming up that would be a major kill to the shop. So I'm going to at least stick it out until the christmas season and see if maybe this place would take me back for 3-4 days a week on low key stuff.

So i've been on prozac now for just over a week I think, and i'm not sure, i mean its changed me a bit, i want to spend spend spend which is troublesome and i've also been very irritable which are two symptoms of something UD told me about which is hypermania which means i kinda swing from depressed to manic. The other night i had some wine, and i know your not supposed to mix alcohol and drugs but i take my pill in the morning and this glass and a half of wine was late in the evening well i began to feel good and like powerful almost. i have been having a bit more energy i think but my back pain is back sadly... i kinda liked not having pain!! umm well crap gotta go but will review and write more later....

soon to come....mad at me? mad at you....is my relationship going down the drain??? Aww