Read diary

Now I'm being warned on this website that a time-out function has been activated. I should write my entry on a "notepad" and re-write it here. Why? So I'll feel twice as bad. Yeah, I'm "depressed" again. Back is all my "negative" thinking.
I've been working the night shift for the past two weeks, so my sleep schedule is all screwed up. Yesterday I slept from 4pm til 10am this morning. I think its because I'm depressed again. Back are the thoughts of walking in front of a bus. My wife just asked me if I was depressed again. I told her I was but didn't elaborate.
I don't even know if I can stay awake tonight and finish my shift at 6:30AM. I really don't know if I want to fight this illness any more. I feel like ending everything. I cant continue fighting this losing battle for everyone else's sake.
My GP made a referral to Sunnybrook Hospital for me to get hooked up with a shrink. Sunnybrook called back saying the referral has to come from a shrink. How fuckin stupid. He made the referral hoping I could get a shrink there. Now where do I turn in this never ending search for a psychiatrist??????