I dont know how it came to this
Hi. I´m 24 years old and have spent the last 5 years with depression. I do not understand how it is that my life came to be the way it is. I spent high school in top classes getting good grades, I come from a good family with no problems and I get along well with everyone enough, to say that my brother is my best friend.
I was never abused by anyone, never abused a substance, was into hanging out with friends and indulging in my hobbies of art and piano, at one stage I ran three jobs-until it all just stopped.
I slept 18 hours a day (my record is 26 hrs straight), gained thirty kilos in 5 months and lost most of my friends. I could not cope with having to interact with anyone. I ended up quitting my job of 6 years because I couldn´t handle the 15 hours a week I was doing. The lowest point came not long after this, I became a prostitute. Not to fund any drug habit, or because someone was forcing me to, but because I could do nothing all day but sleep. I would see the odd client just for enough to pay rent. I was not in it for the money. Unfortunately this particular job only adds fuel to the fire of depression, I became irrational, paranoid and any self esteem I had left was eroded away by men. I was suicidal and became bulimic.
When my depression got to the point where I would not even get dressed for the day once I turned up to work, I finally gave it up only to sit at home and cry for weeks until a friend insisted on taking me to the doctor. Thats when I found what had been wrong all that time.
I have been on medication for 8 months and am seeing a psychiatrist. I have enrolled at uni and have started to find some of those friends I had lost. I only wish that my family had known what to look out for all those years ago, then I would never have put myself through even more emotional abuse.
I hope to one day fully repair the damage that depression has caused for me.